Life With Obesity

According to Oxford: o·bese/ōˈbēs/Learn to pronounceadjective grossly fat or overweight.”a hugely obese young man

Just a glimpse to what its like living this day in age while obese

Big people like myself have been shamed and ridiculed for generations and generations. We always seem to be the butt of countless hurtful jokes. Bullying has been a huge culprit to self shaming, suicidal thoughts and increasing eating disorders. People either eat to soothe their emotions, or don’t eat.

I personally have suffered through a couple styles of eating disorders, since I was little, eating was the only comfort I had. For a short period of time during my teens, I actually lost the weight 🏃🏾‍♀️🏋🏾‍♀️and kept it off by exercising and my bulimia. I was elated because I was no longer made fun of, in fact, I quickly became quite popular in highschool. So the constant weakness and dizzy spells were worth it I thought.

Indeed, kids can be so cruel. When they’re laughing at or about you, they can care less about why you’re overweight, they don’t care about the possibility of abuse or torment at home, maybe even a hormonal in balance that caused you to inflate.

Being morbidly obese as an adult has been quite different for me. I’ve never felt these aches and pains before. I suffer with arthritis at an early age, and I genuinely feel just how heavy the excess weight really is on my body. It’s like, I’m wearing a fat suit that I can’t seem to get off. Where the fuck is the zipper? This can’t be. Now I’m on a constant roller coaster of emotion, I eat because I’m sad, and I’m sad because I overeat unhealthy foods. Particularly me, I just eat the wrong things at the wrong time. So my metabolism is essentially nonexistent. So with that being said, repeating the same mistakes over and over again drive me crazy and cause me to have depression. When I wake up in the morning I already feel like I have failed.

I ask myself, how can I do all this cardio when my back is on 10 most of the time? Where is the motivation? Where is the willpower? I simply don’t have any. All in all, deep inside I do have a small crumble of faith and myself. I hold on to this faith for dear life. That maybe one day I can finally get it together. At this point I don’t care about meeting Society standards of beauty. I just want to be healthy and light on my feet again.

The rest of the public has a tendency to either gawk or ignore us altogether. Considering I’ve been bullied my whole life, I am kind of okay with being ignored. We as obese people still endure discrimination. Example, a person that is plus-size can get on a bus to go to their destination, they have a seat near the window. Time goes by as the bus continues to feel, and no one seems to want to sit next to that person. Perhaps the look on the passengers face as you contemplate sitting next to them. And their mind they are likely to become squished. The plus-sized person is likely to be denied a job opportunity regardless of qualification only because of their appearance.

Perhaps the family wants to order some takeout for Friday celebration, you go in to make the orders, are people may assume that all that food is for you. Then they continued on to look at you with disgust. Another example, there have been many times when I’m making my way to the door of a 🏬 business, I watch the men as they hold open the door for the skinny women, but just walk in before I get there. Like they refuse to hold the door open for me because I value nothing. Like I’m not worth holding the door for. Rejection has been a big part of my life, from family and others. I actually have family that flock around my sister’s simply because they are utterly beautiful. While at the same time they don’t really contact me. I have definitely become the token fat girl, meaning hanging out and being the “fat one” while my skinny friend gets all the praise and attention. They probably feel even more beautiful and comparison to me. Throughout my life, I’ve Been Told no matter what I wear or how my hair looks I’m still fat. If I curl my hair, I’m just a fat girl with curly hair. Funny that’s mostly what I get compliments for if any. people always sway over my hair.

Just recently, current plus size Superstar Lizzo attended a basketball game, where she wore a provocative and revealing outfit as a sign of the ultimate confidence. you better believe she was fat shamed all over social media! People called her ridiculous and disgusting. People insulted her and so many ways While others applauded her confidence! 🤔My question to you, would they have had such a problem if it was someone like Paula Patton? Gabrielle Union? Or even miss perfect Beyonce? Most likely they would have received praise for the most part. Why though? Their whole natural ass would still be out. why not shame them? Exactly🙄.

It’s like the world doesn’t want you to be comfortable in your own skin, they want you to feel ashamed of yourself 😔 . Ever see the movie Precious? I often compare myself to that character, how she’s treated in the world by her peers. 🤦🏾‍♀️

So……. Know this. We are people just like you, we’re not a fetish, nor taboo, nor a butt of your jokes. Just because we’re fat, yes fat, does not mean we are lazy. We are parents, caregivers, spouses, dancers , and capable,ect just like you. We’re people with real feelings and spirits. Be humble. 🤫

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