It’s 6 a.m. and I’ve gone straight to the scale. We have a talking scale that says hello and everything , she told me that my current weight is 258.4!
9:37 am. I didn’t get very good sleep last night. I woke up again around 3 in the morning, after going to sleep at about 11. Definitely not enough sleep, but I’ve have noticed that I just lay there. It’s like my brain is super foggy and I have a sense of major confusion. The restlessness forces me to get up and semi begin my day. While everyone is sleeping comfy I am up perhaps re wiping the counters, maybe tidy up the living room while I’m at it.
1:11 pm. I’m really not feeling well and my stomach keeps growling. I don’t feel like I’m going to pass out or anything but I do feel weak, since I have an iron and vitamin D deficiency, during the fast I have been taking multivitamins which help a whole lot. I take one every morning and call it a day. It’s been a little flipping hard to concentrate on tasks.Today is not looking so hot for me.
3:47 p.m. I have to admit my mood is pretty crappy, I’m not irritated but I’m not stimulated either. On a good note, despite my headaches and growling tummy, I have been able to think clearly about my priorities. During these few days I have noticed a lot of things about myself. My sugar and carb addiction has had me in the loop for a very long time. These things have a way of helping me function, but not in a nutritional way more like a comfort. My strength level is just not the same and I get tired pretty quickly. at the same time I have energy to do what I need to do. I feel myself tired but I can’t sleep. I tried, really. My head is just filled with space, confusion, clouds and questions. The questions aren’t actual questions, it’s almost like a?. I don’t know how else to explain it my freaking head hurts so bad.
6:02 p.m. Tonight my family is enjoying some homemade broccoli and beef stir fry. I take fresh cubed steak and dice it evenly. I seasoned it well and coated with a bit of cornstarch and stir-fried it into a medley of seasoned veggies mostly broccoli. I finish it off with fresh steamed brown rice and soy sauce. they enjoyed it very much. OMG it looked so moist and juicy! The smell of the garlic and onions accompanied by eveything else, OMG. FML To say the least, temptation is really tryin’ to mess with me today. I usually break out in prayer and say NO.
8:55 p.m. today I have to say was not horrible but it wasn’t good either, my physical symptoms have come about little by little and I have no ways to control them. so far I have experienced hunger pains, headaches, even though they go and come whenever they want. Random weakness and Spritz of energy. I have had mood swings though I can’t distinguish between the fasting and the fact that I’m on my menstrual. my Cravings are not at all typical, I’ve been craving healthy stuff. Surprisingly, I desire a healthy turkey and tomato sandwich. I want peanut butter. Milk. Haven’t thought about Cheetos or anything like that.
This experience is definitely giving me clarity on how fucked up my eating habits really are. I plan to change them dramatically. I’ve never been a person to eat breakfast and sometimes lunch despite my obesity. I eat dinner and dessert super late though. Breakfast is going to be an important meal for me from now on. Peace..