Mini disclaimer: I am not a doctor nor am I certified in any way shape or form, but I am in a super happy marriage that is no where near perfect.
When you fall in love with someone, nothing feels as good when you receive the same love back. Who wants to be in a 70% – 30% relationship? Not many of us. Despite the idea of self-respect, sometimes we may just settle because we think we can’t or won’t do any better. I am going to share some essential tips we as a couple live by to keep our relationship happy, healthy and fulfilling.
Tip 1: Communication is key. One of the top keys to strengthening your relationship is so take a minute and talk. Let your partner know how you’re feeling, what’s been on your mind that’s been bothering you. Ask your love how they feel too. Find out if that smile is genuine, are they getting enough sleep, if not, what can you do to help ease them? If you both have super busy schedules, don’t fret, all you need is a few minutes to talk and recoup. Don’t be afraid to reach out through text too, no difference, it will still be positive and personal. An entire argument can be prevented by one simple check in conversation.
Tip 2: Sex is important, but Intimacy is Gold. There is definitely a difference between intimacy and sex. Sex is an action, it is the very psychical act of intercourse. Sex is pleasure, it can be a healthy stress reliever and a form of exercise even. Though, after that climax, what happens next? You can’t take that feeling to work with you, once it’s over , it’s just over. Intimacy is not that simple , intimacy is closeness, touch, sweet sayings and words. While you’re starting your day, and you see your partner rushing breakfast for the kids, come behind them, hug them close, sneak a sweet I- love- you, you’re- awesome- kiss. Take a minute to tell your mate how beautiful or handsome they look that day. If you are in a long distance relationship ,get creative. Surprise them with a hand written letter in the mail, take a lighter and slightly burn/toast the edges to give it some pizazz. Perhaps spray it with your favorite and most enticing perfume or cologne. Slip a note in their wallet or purse, expressing something you love about them. Sit together more during movie nights, that non-sexual, physical contact can mean the world to you both, especially after a long challenging day. Don’t be afraid to ask or offer a random foot rub as messages can also be very romantic. Hold hands. If you’re in a LDR (long distance relationship) , don’t let that stop you, you can still enjoy a movie night through video chat and picking a Netflix movie maybe.
Tip 3: Keep date nights going. So you’ve committed or have gotten married, that doesn’t mean that the fight is over and the courting isn’t necessary anymore. Sometimes, couples can get all wrapped up in life and forget to sit back and smell the flowers. We may forget how to make our mates feel loved and special like before. Date nights or virtual date nights can be a wonderful way to keep that spark at its brightest. Date nights can help remind you two of why made you both fell in love in the beginning. You take a moment to see your mate instead of just your kids mom or dad, you see your love, your babe just like before.
Tip 4: Show some support. With the hustle and bustle of everyday life, our plates can become quite heavy. If you see your partner struggling with the laundry after work, offer a helping hand. Helping your mate and making their work load lighter is a wonderful way to show support and that you love them. If you are super tired after school, its OK to ask for help with the dishes, maybe even do them together. If you feel that your mate is not being as helping as they could, be comfortable enough to talk about and ask for help, it does not make you a selfish person. If your long distance partner is regularly taking time out to come visit you, do your part and do the same, at least front the traveling bill to show you also care just as much.
Tip 5: Create boundries.
It is perfectly ok for you and your mate to have alone time. Its healthy to be apart sometimes and have a separate group of friends. Having mutual friends is also good too. Giving each other time to breathe, vent and miss one another can be super healthy for the your loving Union .
To be in a committed relationship, is a lot of work and should always be even. Treat your love as you’d like to be, lead the example. If you feel that it may not be the case, perhaps you should have a sit down and see if your feelings are really mutual. Never settle for less and cheat yourself out of a happy and healthy relationship.